After 40 great episodes of Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger, Chef Andrew, Sean Power no S, and David Everett Fisher have decided to hang up their spikes. Life, wives, kids, and prison sentences have just gotten in the way of bringing you great baseball content. We want to thank our listeners and those who have helped us record this great series. Baseball will forever be each of our loves and we are always happy to talk about it. Thank you.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 40
The boys break down the 2019 MLB trade deadline while disrespecting the dead and more Madison Bumgarner drinking games. Also Andrew has some regrets from his last baseball game.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 39
Recorded on July 14th
Marshall Alexander
Dave is off on his honeymoon, so we held a contest where whoever asked would replace him in episode 39, so Marshall Alexander won. He talks to Sean and Chef Andrew about growing up in Michigan a Detroit Tiger game, getting drunk at Fred Meyers during a game of Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Madison Bumgarner Drinking Game, and what to eat at a Detroit Tiger game. Marshall has been a dedicated listener since the very start and has a great unique perspective on all the reoccurring topics on this podcast. Listen as he makes fun of us.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 38
Half of the 2019 MLB season is behind us, so we report on what was and what will be. Plus, we are asking who wants to be in the next episode to replace Dave while he is on his honeymoon.
Andrew not believing what Sean just said.
We Overthrew to First
By David Everett Fisher
It is with a heavy heart that we had to cancel the Wiffle Ball Tournament this Saturday. We quit it at the very last second, but it had been sinking for some time. While I’m not going to get into the details, I can say that we all learned something.
This Podcast is a labor of love for the three of us. It’s like a band or a zine, it is something that we put work into in the cracks in our schedule. We love baseball, we love talking about baseball, and we think that other people would love to hear us talking about baseball.
Baseball is a complicated game. It is so full of little tweaks, twitches, and so much happens away from the ball. Where a fielder is standing says so much about everything else that is happening in the game. There are stories, history, and poetry that intertwines a game of baseball. There are gods and monster who have played the game. There are heroes and villains who have faced each other. There are unwritten tradition that permeates the DNA on the diamond.
We want to capture that. What is going through our heads when we are in the bleachers watching a game – what is going through any fan’s head. We want to be the place where a fan can get in on some trash talking, bemoaning the business side, and praise for the stars.
It can be a hard task to accomplish when the internet is the speed of light (or faster) breaking news and thoughts on the game. It can be daunting to talk to the back of fan’s heads that are walking away from the game. It can be tedious to compete with fans who prefer fantasy stats over the actual game.
We want listeners. We thought that playing a game of wiffle ball in the street would be this great way to attract listeners. We tried partnering up with two great non-profits that help kids play our favorite game and houseless veterans. We wanted to bring a loud party to NW 13th and have fun and have everyone leave and think, Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast did this. If they can do that, what’s their podcast about? We want to create a community of baseball fans.
We couldn’t do it. We decided to call it with bruised egos and a lot of lessons learned. We tried too long by ourselves when we should have asked for help. We took on way more than the three of us could handle. We waited for something that wasn’t happening to happen.
We won’t dwell on the should haves and could haves, but we have some concrete ideas for when we try this again, which we will.
It can be daunting to do this podcast and not really get a lot of listener reactions. We love the few who do, but we keep thinking, what can we say that will insight a reaction. How do we get people to love baseball with us? We aren’t kidding, we really want to know. We want to watch baseball with you, we want to be a part of your baseball diet.
The three of us are super busy. Andrew runs a couple of businesses, got engaged to a Mets fan and is getting ready to cohabitate, plays baseball for the Multnomah Expos, still involved with his rugby team the Portland Pigs, goes to church, and still finds time to volunteer and help others. Sean got married this summer, works, and finds his time volunteering as well. He and his gorgeous saintly wife also have cats, and now he is in the American Sign Language program, which is one of the hardest degrees to get. I also got married this spring to a beautiful Goddess and work full time at a local grocery store, volunteer several hours a week, hangs out with his beautiful wife and dog, Rufus, I try to write as much as I can, and am about to go on a three week honeymoon to southern Italy, which has been a dream of mine for my whole life. We live very full lives. I’m sure I missed things for all three of us.
We love baseball. This is what brings us together. We want you to join us and listen to our podcast. I know there are officially five-thousand-gazillion podcasts out there, but we make this one and we would like you to enjoy it.
If you are disappointed in the cancellation of the Wiffle Ball Tournament, then I would like to profusely apologize to you. It wasn’t in the cards for this to happen this time. We are very interested in doing it in the future. We are also open to meeting you somewhere and playing a game of wiffle ball if that would make you feel any better.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 37
Ichiro in a cloud of PED vape
Chef Andrew and David Everett Fisher go over the direction the Wiffle Ball Tournament is going. Then we talk about baseball's biggest villain: Ichiro Suzuki and whether he will be a first ballot shoo-in to the Baseball Hall of Fame. This comes from a 14 hour text war that Andrew's baseball team, the Multnomah Expos, had this last weekend. We then pick apart the fan's choices for the 2019 All-Star game and why we believe in the Electoral College.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 36
Chef Andrew is out of town, so Sean and Dave sit down and talk about Oregonians in the MLB draft, our All Star picks, and not watching baseball. Who remembers how to read a box score? Also, our Wiffle Ball Tournament is less than a month away!
Sean with our Hot Prospect Scout, John Rizzo Naimo
Community & Trash Talk
By David Everett Fisher
If there is one reason Andrew, Sean, and I started a baseball podcast is to have a chance to talk about baseball. Sometimes we think about baseball in our daily lives, but when we look around, there is nobody to say anything to. Then we get to get together and celebrate our favorite game.
We want to talk to more people about baseball. We love the game. We want to share the excitement that is home runs, base stealing, double plays, shooting the right field gap, robbing home runs, and everything else that makes baseball such an unbelievable sport.
It’s hard to be all alone watching a perfect game or a no-no being pitched before your eyes. I want someone to shout with me when the batter completes the cycle. There is no one there when I watch a walk off or a game winning strike out. I watch most games alone, and sometimes I’ll text Sean and Andrew about something that is interesting, and they do the same.
I can tell you that baseball is much more fun with friends and community. That is what Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger wants to do. We want to build a community here in Portland that we find lacking – especially as we try and bring MLB here.
We decided to do a wiffle ball tournament. We don’t want to make money, that is why we are giving all of it away to charity, we just want a baseball community. We want to meet you. We want to share the love of baseball and find more people to be able to trash talk Robinson Cano with.
We want this podcast to be something that fuels your love for baseball. We want you to get mad at us, celebrate with us, and to tell us we are wrong. We want our podcast to feel like you’re in the bleachers over the right field just talking baseball, yelling at the right fielder and the bullpen.
We want to meet you. Even if you don’t want to play wiffle ball, please come down and meet us. We are really doing this to make friends with baseball fans. We even want to meet you if you’re a Mariner, Yankee, or Cardinal fan. Baseball isn’t fun unless there is a little trash talking. That is why Sean sucks, he just trash talks his own team.
So come on down and play some wiffle ball, eat some food and have some drinks, and lets create a baseball community.
If you do wanna play some wiffle ball, click the button below and sign your team up. All proceeds goes to Friends of Baseball.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 35
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger guys plus Tom!
Sean is back from his honeymoon and won’t stop talking about how surprising the Twins are. He also loses his temper many times. Baseball, what’s the deal with that?
Also, we are stoked about our Wiffle Ball Tournament on June 29th! Sign up!
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 34
Sean Power no S is off on his honeymoon, so Dave's wife Nicole joins Dave and Andrew to talk about all the things Sean gets wrong about baseball, Red Sox fans, and why people become fans. Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Wiffle Ball Tournament in conjunction with Friends of Baseball sign ups are up!
Andrew telling Sean about the birds and the bees.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Wiffle Ball Tournament
We are finally ready to open sign ups for our Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Wiffle Ball Tournament. All the proceeds for signing up go to Friends of Baseball. We are looking for 16 teams of 4 people each to come down to River Pig Saloon from 11am to 7pm where we will have NW 13th Avenue closed off to compete in a tournament to see who the best wiffle ball team is.
We will have beer, food, vendors, raffle and prizes, and a home run derby!
We will be hanging out with our friends from River Pig Saloon, Friends of Baseball, Portland Diamond Project, and Do Good Multnomah. Even if you aren’t playing in the tournament, come down and hang out.
The sign up button below will take you to the Friends of Baseball page so that you can join. All proceeds go to Friends of Baseball, who believe every child should have an opportunity and tools to swing for the fences on the field and in life.
If you would like to help by donating prizes, services, or want to help sponsor this event, please email us at rabblerabblecheeseburger@gmail.com.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 33
It is episode 33 and the boys are excited about their wiffle ball tournament coming up June 29th. They go over the home run hitters and how there are so many home runs now. We even ask ourselves, are there too many home runs? Is it ruining baseball? Is Christian Yellich and Cody Bellinger going to be chasing the Home Run record like Micky Mantle and Roger Maris did in 1961? We continue our in depth reporting on Ichiro selling PEDs to the Seattle Mariners.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 32
Sean, Dave, and Chef Andrew are back at it after a week of MLB baseball. Sean's Orioles are winning, Chef Andrew's Giants are losing, and Dave's A's are doing both. They go over who is hot and who is not. They rate the big three money makers; Harper, Machado, Trout, and Chris Davis who is now 0 and 48. We love a good fight and breakdown the Reds and Pirates fight
We fantasize about baseball being in Portland. What would the team be named? Chef Andrew pretends to be in charge of the stadium food and talks about what he would do. Dave reminisces about Zenner dogs at Portland Beaver games.
We announce our inaugural Rabble Rabble Baseball Podcast Wiffle Ball Tournament and give some more details on that.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 31
Baseball has started (in Tokyo anyhow) and the rest of baseball starts this Thursday! We go over the Seattle Oakland games in Tokyo, Ichiro, both as a player and as a person. Then we say, what's the deal with all those extensions!?! We don't remember seeing this many extensions signed, and what does that mean for baseball.
We finish the podcast with a huge announcement! You gotta listen to hear it and you don't want to miss it!
Dave is having to explain something to Sean again.
What Are The Big Stories We Are Following For the 2019 MLB Season - and Madison Bumgarner Drinking Game Written Word Style
By David Everett Fisher
Up here in Portland, Oregon we had snow all last week and now it has been clear skies and 70 this weekend. We at Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger can’t help but to think about this upcoming MLB season. This week we will have the Oakland Athletics hosting the Seattle Mariners in Tokyo, Japan for the 2019 “soft” opening series, and the rest of the teams meet up the following weekend.
There is a lot of promise right now. Even teams that are slated to lose more than win have a lot of promise. We are at the point where we are just waiting to for the season to begin to see what will happen.
What are some of the things we are looking forward to this season?
Some of the things that I am always into is the Los Angeles Angels. Year after year, this team seems to add these superhero players to their roster and they keep getting beat out by the Astros, the Athletics, and sometimes even the Rangers, but seem to compete with the Mariners for the bottom of the AL West.
This year they added Jonathan Lucroy, Justin Bour, and Trevor Cahill. They still have Mike Trout, who some say is good, and Albert Pujos, a 75-year-old first baseman. Don’t forget Shohei Ohtani and Matt Harvey.
How will they perform? Baseball Prospectus’ PECOTA puts them in second place in the AL West with 80 wins. PECOTA predicted that they would win 79 games and be in second in the AL WEST in 2018, and they did end up getting 80 wins, but both the Athletics and the Mariners won way more than PECOTA had predicted.
I am looking forward to the Angels to miss out on winning enough games to get them anywhere in the post season.
Keeping it on the west coast, you can’t really talk about the 2019 season without bringing up the San Diego Padres and their new guy, Manny Machado. Did San Diego get in the post season? Will they beat the Dodgers, the Rockies, and the D’Backs? Are the Giants good enough to upset any of these teams?
I have them going all the way to the World Series on the Podcast, but I kind of have this joke appreciation with the Swingin’ Friars. Manny Machado is pretty good, but is he the hero the Whale Vagina (movie reference) been waiting for since Tony Gwynn?
Baseball Prospectus has the Padres in fourth place, beating out the Giants, with a 79-83 record, but the exciting thing to look out for, and maybe this is a theme now, is Manny not producing enough to really make the Padres a serious contender.
It does make the NL West a much more exciting division than it already is, and also watching the Dodger’s make another run and see where they might fall short, and if it is in the Series again.
The opener. We have already seen this used last year, but more teams are going to try it, especially the teams that are under competitive. Last year it was employed by the Tampa Rays and the Oakland Athletics. The Milwaukee Brewers used it as well and was the most competitive team to use it.
Like a lot of baseball innovations, like the shift and using math to pick players, it was met with a lot of disapproval. My podcast mates are both adamantly against it. I, on the other hand, like to watch it become something. I am not putting all my hard earn free podcast money in on the opener pitcher, but I do like watching innovations, even if they fail.
More teams are looking at it for an option this year. The Twins, Yankees, and the San Francisco Giants are all considering it. Madison Bumgarner (drink!) is against the opener. Injuries and not as good rotations have teams looking at the opener as a way to compete.
The opener comes in the first inning like a starter, but only pitches that first inning – or less, and then a starter or long game reliever comes in and pitches. It allows a “closer” like pitcher to take care of the top three batters, which are usually the better hitters, and it lets the starter or relief pitcher pitch further into the game without seeing those batters a third or fourth time.
I am excited to see it used, and I’m excited to hear people grumble about it, which makes me want it to work more than anything else.
Bryce Harper and the Philadelphia Phillies will be so closely examined that if you are an NBA fan, you will be getting Harper fatigue just like you had LeBron fatigue. When Bryce hurt his foot, I got so many breaking news notifications that I thought Mueller arrested Trump.
Bryce Harper is such an interesting player. He has power, but other people have more. He is a very good fielder, but there are better outfielders. People who don’t like him or the team he’s on hate him. He is a villain, and the Philadelphia Phillies love being the Empire to Harper’s Darth Vader.
I am excited to see the Nationals battle it out with the Phillies. They have a point to make, and I think they have a really good team to do it. PECOTA has the two teams tied! Add the New York Mets and the Atlanta Braves and you have the best division in baseball. I’m going to be trying to watch a lot of those games.
July 31st is the new trade deadline, and it is all the deadlines. One deadline to rule them all, and that will be an insane month leading up to that day, which is a Wednesday, so maybe call in sick that day. The teams will have a good understanding who is a contender and who is taking the fall off, and there is a lot of talent that could be changing uniforms.
What I’m not excited for is the impact that the owners and players relationship have on the trades and free agent signings this year. We are sniffing a labor dispute, and we will see some twenty-something dating mind games.
I also am not amused or entertained by teams (ahem Toronto) keeping their talent in the minors for some money hacks. I want to see Junior hack!
The current CBA expires in 2021, and some players are saying the S-word. Other players are signing the extensions instead of betting on the Free Agent market. Nolan Arenado decided to stay in Colorado after being offered a $260 million extension. This happened right after both Manny and Bryce signed to their contracts.
Just for Sean Power with no S’s eyes, I am excited which anonymous player or players on the Baltimore Orioles will make a big splash. Chris Davis is still on the team, and he will have to start producing something or he will become anonymous himself.
So much youth in the league this year, so I am excited to see the next generation of stars come in to their own. Atlanta will be fun to watch these young guys play, Washington have a couple in Robles and Soto, the Mets have Peter Alonso, and I hope he plays this year. I really want to see Eloy Jimenez and Danny Jansen play as well in the American League.
Lastly, I am excited to watch Madison Bumgarner (drink). Madison Bumgarner (drink again!) has continued to be the best Madison Bumgarner (shots!) Madison Bumgarner (might want to drink some water between shots) can be. Madison Bumgarner (DRINK!) is also a possible trade piece, but Madison Bumgarner (All of it!) may continue to pitch for San Francisco, but if Madison Bumgarner (chug-a-lug, chug-alug!) has to pitch after an opener, Madison Bumgarner (Oh, my God! You are using Fireball whiskey?!? You are going to black out soo…) will not like it and Madison Bumgarner (nvfidfguaehrgoaeirhg) will walk off, so Madison Bumgarner (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) will be more interesting to watch than Madison Bumgarner (If you puke you can play this game again!) was last year.
What are you guys looking forward to?
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 30
Oh, hello there. Welcome to the thirtieth episode of Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger where Sean, Andrew, and Dave talk about the time they fell in love with baseball. They go over some of their picks for the 2019 season, and Dave explains Sean’s energy drink choice. Basically we can’t wait for the season to begin!
Sunny Day Whiffle Ball Fun
By David Everett Fisher
If there is one thing that we at Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger would like to accomplish, is to make baseball fun again. The three of us met up for brunch to discuss a few things and while getting ready to leave we decided to get the small plastic bat and ball out of Dave’s car and hit a few.
It was sunny here in Portland, but it is still cold and we had a strong wind blowing freezing chill, but that didn’t stop us from taking some whacks at a ball. Dave pitched to Andrew a few, but then Nate was walking to yoga and complimented Sean on his Orioles hat, so we asked if he wanted to try and strike Andrew out. If he does, he gets a free bottle of NW Elixirs hot sauce, and if he can’t, then he will have to go to his yoga class in shame. Nate pitches him on the outside, which is Andrew’s weak spot, and Andrew goes down swinging. Nate is excited and walks off to yoga class chin up and a positive baseball experience.
We felt that the bat and ball that we were using wasn’t up to snuff, so we go to Safeway and find out that they have a full bushel of fresh whiffle ball sets. The people were a little suspect of us buying a handful of plastic yellow bats and balls, but we put on our best innocent smiles to put everybody at ease.
We find a non busy corner of the parking lot and start pitching each other change ups, curve balls, sliders, and even a few knuckle balls, or at least the whiffle ball moved a lot. Sean had some of the better hits, while Andrew got some grounders, but Dave just couldn’t get contact to save his life.
It was fun just swinging the bat around and talking innocent trash to each other. People who saw us smiled and I think all had that inkling about being a kid. Some people shouted encouragements and appreciations. Whiffle ball can be played anywhere. When you step up to the “plate”, you can become your favorite player by copying their batting stance. You can see if everyone can guess what player you are emulating. Then there is being the pitcher. You copy your favorite pitch wind ups, or you just do an exaggerated leg kick after looking at first base. You can either enjoy being in a cold Safeway parking lot or you can be the hero in the World Series.
I hit one on the ground that would have been easily fielded by a short stop, but that didn’t stop me from flipping my bat and trotting to first, which was a curb where my jacket way lying. With a whiffle ball bat, I am as good as any MLB player.
As we were heading back to our cars, a couple of guys asked us about our whiffle ball bats and we challenged one of them to strike Andrew out for a bottle of hot sauce. They were stoked and we headed over to a bank’s parking lot. We decided on a 1-1 count. First pitch was a Hit By Pitch, but we counted it as a ball. The second pitch was a foul behind the plate, and then the final pitch was hit up the third base line. Andrew gave him the hot sauce anyway for being a good sport.
He then wanted a few pitches to hit himself and he was able to get the best hit of the day with some great launch angle and exit velocity to land in the street behind the parking lot. Those guys went back to their brunch with a bottle of hot sauce and some fond baseball memories. I wonder if they talked about baseball for a bit?
What a fun day and exactly what Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger is all about.
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 29
Sometimes we get so worked up for baseball, that as we come out of the doldrums of winter we get overly excited for spring training. Sean is that person, he has done nothing but watch spring training baseball. He watches each game three times, taking notes, sketching, making collages of what he sees. We talk about the downfall of baseball and America in the post capitalism society. We bring up Manny Machado. Sean tries to bring up the Orioles in a positive way, which was weird. There was also late breaking news. Sean retreats to his room to watch more spring training games wearing diapers while Andrew and Dave go back to their lives.
The Bad Money of Baseball, and Our Solutions
By David Everett Fisher
1911 American League owners
Baseball, beyond all of its majesty and grace, is a business. Owners of baseball teams, and some of them love baseball, are trying to make money, and players are trying to get paid money. We have found ourselves in a duel between owner billionaires and player millionaires on how much a player is worth and for how long.
A baseball player on average is in the big show only for a few years. While they were in the minors they make less than a teacher. Some players got a nice signing bonus, but others struggle to make ends meet or quit baseball. Some players, mostly pitchers, stay up in the big leagues for 10 to 15 years, while others might never see a full season.
The big news is that spring training has started and there are many free agents left unsigned. The big headliners are Bryce Harper and Manny Machado. They want, and were led to believe, that they would get big bang buster contracts nearing 10 years and 300 million dollars, but yet here we are, and teams aren’t offering that kind of money from what other more professional journalists lead me to believe.
The problem with labor in baseball has started rumblings of a player strike or even an owner lockout if things don’t get resolved. Major League Baseball will not survive a strike. They had to inject their players with steroids and tarnish the great game with controversy to survive the last strike, and I know people who loved baseball that threw their arms up and will not enjoy a baseball game. I know I, who is writing a blog for a podcast website that is solely about baseball, would have a hard time wanting to support the MLB’s product.
Baseball is an interesting business model. Each team makes different amounts of money. The Yankees, Houston, Boston, New York, and Los Angeles make huge amounts of cash from being in these large market cities. Then you have teams like Oakland, Kansas City, and Tampa Bay which don’t make a lot of money but have to compete with teams that have gigantic payrolls. Baseball does the communist thing and redistributes the wealth from the rich teams and spread it around to the poorer teams. Before you get your libertarian panties in a bunch, this helps the rich teams make more money because then there is fairer competition.
Baseball teams have only a luxury tax after 206-million-dollar payroll this year. This means if you try and buy a bunch of great players for a lot of money and you exceed the payroll limit, you have to pay 20% tax on the extra money spent. The more you exceed the threshold, the more you pay in taxes. The Los Angeles Dodgers have done this a few years in a row to become second place.
Where does all these millions of dollars come from? Ticket prices, merchandise and licensing, and TV contracts. Just about 31% come from ticket prices and premium seating. Almost 40% comes from local and national TV and Radio contracts, and this might be changing with streaming services getting into the fun. Just short of 15% is in sponsorships and licensing, which is video games and using MLB’s likenesses in movies and other media. Companies like Bank of America, MasterCard, Apple, and Amazon Web Services have given close to 900 million dollars in 2017. The MLB Advanced Media (MLBAM) arm of the MLB brought in another 900 million bucks with its MLB online services. And before you throw hot dogs at me, concessions bring in 1% of MLB’s income. The postseason will bring in more money as well.
Ticket prices are on the decline, but TV contracts are on the rise, and the MLBAM has added a lot of money to the league that just didn’t exist before. Baseball is making record breaking money. Before the more modern version of analytics, a free agent was guaranteed a huge pay day, but now that the math shows that that a player was more productive before free agency, so front offices aren’t willing to pay the top dollar. Think about all the record-breaking contracts that yielded little to nothing.
While it is hard to root for a millionaire standing up to a billionaire about getting paid, I do have to say that this is the exact same fight that is happening all over the US. The labor is not making more money and the management is making impossible money. Just like the traffic controllers who ended the government shutdown, the players will want to strike if they don’t see growth in their salaries, and the owners will want to lock out the players to make them mind their Ps and Qs.
I do have some solutions though. I have taken no business classes in college and my economic knowledge is pretty limited, but I have a good gut for fixing broken things. Here are a few of my ideas:
Major League Baseball: Employee Owned
Joey Votto, owner and first baseman of the Cincinnati Reds
The players become the owners of the teams and the leagues. They would have a lot more at stake when it comes to the business of baseball. As players they would get a salary, but as owners they would get stock incentives, so that the more money the MLB makes, the more money they make.
Players who retire would get a nice retirement package that would give them incentive to step away if they aren’t playing up to competitive level, and they would remain ambassadors of the game.
I believe that the competition level would be protected because the players would want to put out a good product for the consumers. Without people watching, they wouldn’t make money, so making sure that four to six teams don’t dominate the league would be important.
It would also take away the labor struggles of millionaires whining about billionaires. If baseball isn’t selling, then the players would have to figure out creative ways to change the game that suit the people.
Major League Baseball: Conference
We break up the league into conferences who only play each other. Then the teams are ranked 1 to 30 based on what is believed to be the best team to the worse team. If there are two teams in a conference that are ranked one and two, they play each other to see who plays the highest-ranking team of another conference.
If this sounds familiar, then yes, I am changing the MLB to college football. One of the reasons I believe college football makes so much money is how much time the pundits spend ranking teams and agreeing and disagreeing with the rankings.
Imagine last year if the Yankees were ranked first? Boston people would get so upset, and Houston fans would be screaming on Twitter, and Los Angeles Dodger fans would be calling Colin Cowherd and yelling, and then teams like Tampa Bay, Oakland, and Milwaukee would get all these acolytes of being the sleeper to take down the number ones.
This would also allow for more teams to join. You don’t have to protect the competitive population as much with a ranking system. The number ones would need weak teams to join the league to give them the appearance of strength of schedule, another great sports talk topic, “Yankees had to play Boston, Toronto, and Tampa Bay! Who is in the Pacific Conference that Los Angeles has to worry about?” See? Fun!
Each conference would have its own economy, so yes, some conferences will have bigger TV contracts. Some conferences will always seem like the underdogs.
Then we can talk about bowl games. While there is the championship game, or world series, we can also have big money makers meet in bowls all through September and October. Some of the teams could really suck, but if people spend money to see those two teams meet, then it will be a success.
Imagine if both the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Francisco Giants were really bad, but every October they had the In n’ Out Burger Bowl where they brought in the most of this storied rivalry, then baseball would make so much money.
I’d also shorten the season to be from June to August for the regular season, September to October to be the conference playoffs, bowls, and championship bowl.
Major League Baseball: National Baseball League
This would be the opposite of the player owned league, and this would be the owner owned league. I’m sure the player union would kill me if anyone ever took me seriously – I mean they would have me assassinated by a hit man named Lorenzo. We take out all weekday games, no one fucking watches those. We only play Friday night, Saturday all day and night, and Sunday day. We place a hard cap on salary, and each team has to spend the exact same amount. We get rid of the DH, all fields must be exactly the same dimensions in the outfield, we have designated positions – so no shifts, assholes, and we take out interleague play.
Scheduling would be your division plus a few special games that people want to see, and then we meet up in conference championship games. All games are best of three except the super world series bowl where it is one game. None of this waiting a bunch of days to see who the winner is, just one game, like a man.
Major League Baseball: X League Baseball
This is kind of like the last one, but the offense and the defense can be different people. All of your batters are designated hitters, your base runners are all pinch runners, all your fielders never hit, and your pitchers can come in and out as you please, so your opener can also be your closer if you want. Cheerleaders, shit talking players, fireworks, crazy uniforms, and the stands are in play.
Also, Performance Enhancing Drugs are not just legal, but encouraged.
Major League Baseball: Las Vegas
Hall of Famer Pete Rose
Gambling. Do I really need to say more? MLB takes a cut, we have huge boards where people can gamble on what pitch is being thrown, if it’s a strike, ball, hit, or foul, if a team is winning by how many points, if Nolan Ryan falls asleep in the stands – there is so much a person can bet on.
MLB just takes a cut of all the gambling and the MLB would be rich. Fuck this fantasy sports in people’s “man caves”, let’s be in bars fanning twenty-dollar bills with drool on our mouths because it is a 3-1 pitch, 2 outs, bottom of the ninth and the score is tied. Yes, it is exciting enough, but imagine if your team strikes out but you won $9,000!?! You’d be fine!
Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast Episode 28
Pitchers and Catchers are reporting! Sean pretends he is excited about the Orioles, but we all know that in early March he will be depressed and bummed. Dave and Andrew also go over what they are excited about this season. We go over the past spring training times that we were excited about. Dave admits he didn't care about the strike in 94. We also break the news of where Manny Machado and Bryce Harper signed. Give it a listen to get excited for Spring Training!
